My ultra kiasu Mother In Law

Dear MIL,

Do NOT frown at me for carrying my orange (Feu) Hermes Evelyne bag. Nobody does orange like Hermes. That's their signature colour. If you don't know that, then don't pretend that you have any class and taste just because you only carry your bags in neutral colours. Neutral colours don't show that you have class or taste: it just means you really can't afford that bag you own & you're trying to make your $$$ stretch by buying it in a neutral so it matches everything. 

And YES I wear red sandals & red birkenstocks. You don't? You make that loudly known that you can't wear loud colours like me.

Does that make you classier? Doesn't that make you someone who has to shrink your essence to something that fits in to other people's perception of what you should be? Fuck you.

You know I love red so much I'll wear it at your funeral, you bitch. 

Yours Sincerely, 

Your angmoh DIL whose daughters hate the sight of you. 

Luckily my husband's younger brother got some floozy makeup artist influencer photographer pregnant & had their shotgun wedding & shotgun baby, now the wench is pregnant again with twins. 

All boys. 

My kiasu MIL loves that shit. Good. 

Keeps her away from me & my daughters. Life is good.