Dear White Expat Wife in Singapore,

Hi, I'm an expat just like you. 
Some of you are really good friends of mine. Some of you are just friends whom I see at our kids' school, our husbands work together, we live in the same building etc. 
Some of you who don't know me or know anyone who knows me just look at me with utter vitriol. WHY IS THAT? 

Could it be because I look like I could be a Singaporean Tiger Mom when I'm bringing kids to their CCA or enrichment classes? You think I force my kids to memorize and play Beethoven on the piano perfectly? You think I send my kids to Kumon so they'll become booksmart paper-pusher Singaporeans who have zero street-smarts? I don't do any of the above, by the way- and if I did, it's none of your fxxxing business. 

Could it be because you think I'm a Singaporean woman who treats their maid like trash? The type who doesn't allow their maids to eat enough food? The types who lock away their passports? The types who don't give their helper a key? The types who make their helper wait outside a restaurant while they eat inside? I don't do any of those appalling things to my helper, by the way- I pay her SGD 700 a month plus a bonus of SGD 50 if she works on a Public Holiday or Sunday. She has all Sundays and Public Holidays off. She also just cooks one meal a day (or none at all) & my kids  go to school & daycare. Picked up at lobby by schoolbus. I do all grocery shopping. She vacuums & cleans every other day. Better than local households, some White Expats & Indian expats too. None of your fxxxing business either. 

Could it be because I like dressing in designer fashion, designer bags & shoes, you think I'm a spoilt Singaporean tai-tai trophy wife whose life must be so empty that I need to fill it up with material things. Make yourself feel better with that thought. I don't lead an empty existence, actually. I could be out there having a career. I made a choice to be there for my kids*. I DO have an MBA from a top European institution* that's way more notable than the institutions that I got my Undergraduate degreeS. Note. The. Plural. I speak French, Japanese, Chinese, Malay & English. But that is none of your fxxxing business.

Could it be that I take care of my appearance by hitting the gym, pilates with a PT and bootcamp? I also have a nice thick hair, it's nicely styled & coloured always. So you think I'm a narcissistic Singaporean woman who cares way too much about my food & my weight? I actually want to get & stay healthy for my kids- important that they have a happy Mum. I won't apologize for wanting to be happy. And I have good genes so I only need to do 3 days a week. And that's all the time I'm willing to spend away from my youngest child. I spend 10 minutes blowdrying my wavy thick hair after a wash. And I have my helper babysit my youngest child for 2-3hrs every 3 months when I have my hair cut & coloured. But that's just me. And none of your fxxxing business. 

Could it be because your White Expat husband has been looking at me and liking what he sees? THAT'S IT!!!!!! THAT'S WHY! You think I'm a Chinese woman who will steal your poor husband away from you & your kids! You think I'm after his money! Or sex!!! If I had a dollar everytime an expat white man left his expat white wife for an exotic pretty young thing, I'd be rich by now. I actually have old money* that isn't dependent on a monthly salary like your expat white husband's is. Not that my family's wealth is any of your fxxxing business. 
If you ever be bothered to talk to me before you thought of all these stereotypes for me, I'd say "Babe, I don't want your husband. I'm just a girl who went to Xyz Ladies College in Abc and I still have my grotty old School Leavers jersey which I wore with my Ugh boots when I went to Defg Uni. Used to spend many a Saturday night spewing my guts out on those Ugh boots at the Uni Tavern too. You can keep your suit-wearing yobbo, but you could have a beer with me & get though." <---- Just for the Aussie ladies, who upon hearing that shit, would slowly back away. 

Everyone's so quick to put people into a box that fits their own interpretation of the world. This way, the world makes sense to them & they feel better about themselves. And of course, this is a fallacy. 

*Please refer to for background information.


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